Really bad real headlines

Dave Levingston sent an e-mail yesterday morning alerting several friends, including me, that WLWT Cincinnati had published the following headline on its web site:

WOMAN DEAD AFTER SLAYING, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

The writers there might be excused, he said, because they are broadcasters and not writers.

He was kidding, but my curiosity was pricked. I wanted to know whether it was a widespread plague among broadcasters or just one of them who works in Cincinnati. After less than an hour of surfing, I found other broadcaster headlines that seem to prove the theory that broadcasters are, generously speaking, weak in English. These headlines are all real and they are all from yesterday's web reports:

INVESTIGATORS STILL LOOKING INTO A PERRY COUNTY FATAL FIRE - WCLT-Newark

IRAN WARNS OF 'ILLEGAL' STEPS OVER NUKES - 10TV-Columbus

LONGABERGER LETS GO OF HUNDREDS OF WORKERS - WNKO-Newark

TEACHER CHIDED FOR BITE DURING WEDGIE - NBC4-Columbus

JUDGE DELAYS MURDER TRIAL OVER FUNDING - NBC4 - Columbus

MAN CHARGED WITH ASKING PARENTS TO SLEEP WITH THEIR DAUGHTER - WCLT-Newark

Are broadcast headline writers language-deficient? Case closed.

Not quite.

Among the friends to whom Dave sent his e-mail advisory was a certain morning radio talk show hostess.

Her response to Dave's Headline of the Week e-mail inadvertently addressed the subject of broadcaster literacy.

She wrote back, and this is an exact quote: "i don't get it?"