Just walk faster, Sherry

The case of Newark street lights vs. Sherry Gaston has long since reached the point of ridiculous. In case you haven't tuned into the televised meetings of Newark City Council and haven't been amused, then bored to tears, then totally put off by the antics of this woman, here's her gripe:

She apparently has to walk in compound-low-gear because she has only one leg and claims she can't get across Newark's crosswalks without more time than that for which the lights are set. So, for the past several council meetings, Sherry has delivered a sermon on this subject. She wants the crosswalk lights timed longer for her personal benefit.

She basks in her televised spotlight and exudes sweet-elderly sayings and readings and hyperbole by the bucket-full and for what seems to be the hour-full.

No matter what negative things I will ever say about Council, I will never say its members aren't patient to the point of exhaustion. They've listened to this woman's speeches without interruption and without complaint, as have members of city administration. I feel their helplessness and I sympathize.

After all, what do you tell an old woman with one leg who bitches about fear of crosswalks?

What would you tell her if she were asking you (and you had the power to) delay motorists and screw up the flow of downtown traffic for her own personal benefit?

Well, I'm an old fart too, and here's what I'd tell her: No.

No, we are not going to screw up the traffic flow of a city, because for the first time in decades it's finally working and everyone but you is happy with it.

So no, Sherry, ain't happening.

You will have to end your TV guest spots at Council meetings. Stop the drama and the harassment and the games. Use your time, instead, to practice walking faster. Or, if you prefer, get a wheelchair. Motorized or not. Spend Monday evenings learning to drive the thing instead of learning to be a starlet on Channel 19. Citizens will applaud, I promise.