When I first wrote about bullies I entitled it “Our village failed a child.”
However, none of the events since then - including my own writing - have reflected that this is more than a problem for schools, and more than a problem for police, and more than a problem for parents of bullies. Nobody, including myself, has framed it as a problem for our village.
That occurred to me when I reflected on why there was virtually no bullying in my rural school district many years ago. It wasn’t because there were no mean kids among us.
There were, however, three very influential forces: 1) there was always a teacher or an administrator watching when school took up, during recesses, lunch periods, and after school; 2) teachers had the nerve and felt the responsibility to punish misbehaving students; 3) people who lived in my village were looking out for the safety and welfare of kids and they had the courage and the will to help keep the peace.
Bullying and bad behavior by children were everyone’s problem, though it required time and attention and will power.
So why don’t we have a strong network of neighborhood watch groups? Why can’t parents organize to patrol problem areas? Why can’t the PTA get involved? Why aren’t parents standing up in city council meetings demanding police presence at problem areas? Why can’t individuals just do their own patrolling even without being organized or assimilated into a group? Why can’t teachers and administrators get out of the buildings to keep an eye on things?
I think these solutions - or perhaps better solutions - will materialize if and when everybody begins to see the children of our village as a personal responsibility.
Friday, January 29, 2010
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Hey Bruce-
ReplyDeleteI think its great that your school and neighborhood were bully-free. Today, because of technology, it seems like that problem is everywhere, and worse than ever.
Encouraging parents and neighbors to join together in watch groups and patrols might be one way to help curb the problem. (Adults who don't have kids or don't have kids who are being targeted might be hard to recruit - there's no compelling personal motivation to keep them committed).
But looking for help among elected officials or cops or government employed teachers is not the answer. 43 states have anti-bullying laws, and virtually every school district has policies and programs (many of which cost millions of dollars). The problem persists. Some would argue that it's worse than ever.
I think the real answer is for parents to bully-proof their own kids. It's by far the best way to deal with the problem- and to prepare children to handle the other challenges they're sure to face.
Be Excellent,
Adam Blum
http://www.totalbullysolution.info